So in this blog, I’m going to cover a few bases! I’m going to touch on a few of the issues my mum has had to overcome over the years as my parent. That directly links to the struggles that I have been through my self. Don’t worry, I will not be going in to great detail, it’s more of a nod in the direction of some of the really difficult things that life can throw our way and a hope to inspire some encouragement and faith that we can make a difference in our own lives!
So I want to go back to the beginning, well about 8 months after my begging. My mummy was heavily pregnant with me, her first child at the time. Suddenly her dad died of heart failure . Well, expecting your first child is daunting enough, to have to through that while living with the grief of loosing your dad at the same time… well it was overwhelming! Now my mum did a cracking job but understandably she found being a first time parent challenging, who doesn’t right? Two years later my little bro was born and that has been our family ever since.
Okay so moving on I have to admit I mostly had an amazing child hood! Mostly…
Life happens and lets face it s**t does to! I’m going to skip some of the s**t and move swiftly on to my teenage years, where it really hit the fan! Big time!
When I was 15 my Nan died and my fragile world came crashing down! those of us who have experienced grief know how devastating it can be! Like a lot of young people, and grown up people, I turned to substance abuse and self harm which culminated in a suicide attempt. Well to say my mum was out of her depth and in total despair is a undersatment! We muddled through as best we could and I found someone who really helped me to start living a more healthy life.I was 17 now. I was a long way from fixed but I was a little better… not a lot and not enough but he kept me on more of a level plain. However I did like to keep things a little extra hard for my parents and this lovely man was older than they were! When they saw the difference he was making to me he was accepted. Paul was funny, grounded and was a no-nonsense sorta guy. This little love story was cut short when he was diagnosed with cancer and passed away shortly after we married. I was 18. You can imagine how terrified my family were about what I would do to myself.
To cut a long story short, I actually got pregnant! And that is where my journey of healing really began. My ability to love someone else motivated me to make sure she had the absolute best I could offer. It was a long,long road and I got a lot of help. I signed up for free courses I accessed services to help with alcohol problems and I paid for therapy when money was so tight it was almost non existent! I also got soooo much support from my family but mostly my mum! She was such an integral part of my healing journey, actually I think its fair to say our healing journey because I think both of us grew from the experience.
I’m 35 now, mentally and emotionally healthier than I knew was possible. Most importantly I am happy!! I am so happy with my life, my wonderful husband my 4 amazing children and my fur babies. I have an abundance of love. I can give love to others and I can love myself that is a biggie! That I can receive love!! It was a tough trick to learn but it can be done!
I live a few doors away from my mum. She is my best friend, she is an inspiration . She is one of my biggest cheerleaders, up there with my husband and she is an incredible mummy and nannar!!So thank you mum, for never giving up and hanging on in there and being a part of my happy ever after… I totally love you. xxx
Here are a few helpful websites